My oldest son is turning two next month and he has become quite the handful lately. I have realized a few key phrases that I can say, though, that will
shut him up and calm him down for a few moments when I am needing some quiet time!
1. “Do you want a spanking?”
Yes, I do spank my son. It’s more like one swat on his bottom, but whatever. And only when he deserves it. Though, I do threaten it a lot more than I would actually do it. I can’t help it. The threat has such good results. Luckily, most of the time I ask this question, his answer is “no.” I’m just waiting for the day that I ask him and he says “YES!!” :-0
2. “Let’s go play outside.”
My toddler would live outside if he could. This phrase comes in handy on particularly nice days when I was going to hang out outside anyway. I just wait for the right moment. The moment I hear, “BWAAAAHHH!! LEGO MANE!! WAAAAHH!!!” I know it’s time for the phrase. We will happily spend the next few hours playing outside until bedtime.
3. “Do you want to watch Barney?”
I desperately wanted to avoid the whole Barney scene. I did, really. But for the love of iPhones, my son found Barney on his own on the “Recommended” section of YouTube while watching some other
learning videos. He.Got.Hooked. How could I say no to his sweet request to watch it one day? I think he even said please. I have grown to love Barney and his catchy songs that can keep my toddler entertained for up to an hour and I’m not afraid to admit that. I have officially been converted.
4. “You can help.”
No matter what I am doing, if my son starts getting whiny because I am occupied, I can ask him to help and he will instantly stop whining and be eager to help me. For example, whenever I’m sweeping the floors, I can say, “Help mama sweep.” And I’ll give him our extra broom and direct him to an area that I’m not working in. It is also VERY useful in the grocery stores when after being an angel all day, my son quickly turns into the obnoxiously loud kid the moment his butt touches the buggy. “Help mama find the yellow bottles.” Problem solved. For now.