5 Things I’ve Learned About Halloween From My Followers

5 Things I’ve Learned About Halloween From My Followers

halloween followers

My “followers” posts are easily becoming some of my FAVORITE ones to do! It helps me catch up on reading new posts from them and it’s usually pretty humorous pulling their quotes out of context!

SO, here’s my Halloween edition of Thing’s I’ve Learned From My Followers:

Check out the COMPELTE POST here at the NEW livinginmomarchy.com!!

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Top 3 Phrases My Toddler Says That Make Me Cringe

photo credit: Ben McLeod via photopin cc

photo credit: Ben McLeod via photopin cc

Whenever my toddler says these words, I can guarantee that nothing good is going on. Here’s my top 3 phrases my toddler says that make me cringe:

Check out the COMPLETE POST here at the NEW livinginmomarchy.com!

6 Things That Make Having Young Kids Tolerable

photo credit: courosa via photopin cc

photo credit: courosa via photopin cc

Whenever I feel extra debbie downer about having little kids, I remember these 6 things that make having young kids tolerable:

1. You get awesome tax breaks

This can’t be denied! After having my first son, I remember getting an AMAZING income tax return that following Spring. I just had baby number two this July so I’m definitely looking forward to tax season this year! So here is my advice on this one: if you are looking for a BIG tax break, have as many kids as you possibly can! I bet Kate is banking from her income tax with her eight kids!

2. You always have an excuse to get out of things

Don’t feel like driving two hours to your 2nd cousin’s wedding? “I’m sorry, but my son woke up with a stomach bug this morning…we could ALL be infected so we aren’t going to be able to make it.”

Check out the COMPLETE POST here at the NEW livinginmomarchy.com!

 

10 Reasons to NOT Teach Your Kid to Talk

photo credit: Foxtongue via photopin cc

photo credit: Foxtongue via photopin cc

10 Reasons to NOT Teach Your Kid to Talk
  1. He will demand to listen to retarded songs like Katie Perry and Elmo.
  2. He will protest the oatmeal you cooked for breakfast, demanding only the chocolate syrup that he found in the fridge when you opened it to get the milk.
  3. His favorite word for the first two years after learning to talk will be “NO!”
  4. He will whine, “outsiiide” very loudly over and over and over again while watching it rain through the window.
  5. He will imitate you and make you feel like you sound like a monster…..I DON’T sound like that whenever I yell at the dogs….do I?

Check out the COMPLETE LIST here on the NEW livinginmomarchy.com

8 Phrases I Never Imagined Saying Before Kids

photo credit: theloushe via photopin cc

photo credit: theloushe via photopin cc

As a mom to two boys under two, I have found myself saying some phrases that I would have never imagined saying before I had kids. It’s funny how we adapt as we grow into parents. Though, I can honestly say that I will not miss spouting off these phrases once my boys get older, as I’m pretty sure that they make me less of a person….anyway, here we go…..

1. “Get your hand out of your pants!!”

WHY?! WHY!? WHY, are little boys obsessed with their little manly parts!!? Being the only woman in a house with 5 men(dogs included), I can say that I am officially fed up with a man’s(and boy’s) fascination with their “junk.” OH, how I am ready for this phase to be over.

2. “Please, stop trying to eat your lego man.”

My son is pretty obsessed with his Legos. He takes his Lego men with him to the bath, to go pee-pee, to the store, and to bed. Whatever activity he is doing, he likes to include a Lego man with him. I have no idea why he feels the need to try to eat his best friend for lunch everyday, but whatever. He’s not even two yet, so I won’t judge.

3. “Stop squirming and let me wipe your booty!”

After having my second son in July, it only took a few diaper changes with the newborn to learn that my toddler is a GIANT who wears diapers. I can’t wait for the day when I never have to say this phrase again! 🙂

4. “Come here, let me get that booger out of your nose.”

Why do toddlers ALWAYS have boogers in their noses? It’s like a booger breeding ground in my son’s nose with a spawn rate of one every ten minutes! That’s 144 boogers a day, guys! I bet half my life is devoted to wiping my infant’s and toddler’s noses.

Check out the COMPLETE POST here at the NEW livinginmomarchy.com!

 

How to Have a Date Night In 30 Steps

  1. Pick a date six months in advance
  2. Set up the kids to be watched with your mom on that day six months in advance
  3. Spend endless hours like a zombie researching THE BEST restaurant in a 50 mile radius. This night will be perfect!
  4. Buy a smokin’ new dress for the date night that says everything BUT mom!
  5. Call the restaurant 3 months in advance to make the reservation.
  6. Argue with the restaurant manager about being able to place your reservation 3 months in advance.
  7. Pick out some daring lingerie for after dinner
  8. Call your mom a month before the reservation to make sure that she can still watch the kids.
  9. Send your husband flirty texts saying that you “can’t wait for some alone time with him on an actual date.”
  10. Call your mom 2 weeks before date night to make sure that she can still watch the kids.
  11. Call the restaurant and confirm your reservations one week before date night.
  12. Call your mom 4 days before the reservation to make sure that she can still watch the kids.
  13. Take care of your sick toddler three days before the reservation. He got the stomach flu. Poor thing.
  14. Spend all day and night cleaning up vomit and diarrhea from your two sick children two days before the reservation.
  15. One day before date night, chase a now healthy toddler around the house while feeling like death itself because you caught the stomach flu.

Check out the COMPLETE POST here at the NEW livinginmomarchy.com!

In Case You Were Wondering

photo credit: Anna Marie Gearhart via photopin cc

photo credit: Anna Marie Gearhart via photopin cc

In case you were wondering, I DO love being your mom.

I love our senseless chats and our morning breakfasts together…even when you throw your oatmeal all over my brand new Gucci nightgown that I bought at an attempt to feel normal while staying at home with you. Because nothing says normal like being covered in oatmeal. thanks.

I love your enthusiasm for life and your never-ending curiosity.  Like yesterday, you saw a ladybug in the backyard and you were so excited! Then, curiosity set in and while I went to check on your little brother, you ate it. How precious.

I love the sound of your voice and the silly faces you make….even your “cheesy smile” that looks like you have had a Botox treatment and a big shot of Novocaine all at the same time.

Check out the COMPLETE POST here at the NEW livinginmomarchy.com!