12 Ways to Tell You’re a Mom to a Toddler:
- You have hard, dried up milk and juice stains in the bottom of your purse from sippy cup leaks.
I’ll keep this short and sweet, as I just need to “vent” to other moms out there! Earlier this morning I was doing some cleaning while my 23 month old toddler was in his high chair eating his breakfast. Yogurt, raspberries, and oatmeal, OH MY!
Anyway, after him throwing three spoonfuls of yogurt onto the floor ON PURPOSE, I got very annoyed and said in my best pissed off voice, “IF YOU THROW ONE MORE SPOON OF YOGURT ONTO MY FLOOR, YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT!!”
I SWEAR TO GOD, he looks me dead in the eyes, gets a spoonful of yogurt and holds it over the edge of his chair LIKE he is going to drop it. And he just smiles at me while the yogurt is dangling off his spoon and about to spatter AGAIN for the fourth time. (Note: Yogurt seems to have a splatter radius of about 25 feet, because I kept stepping in little yogurt drops no matter how far away I got!)
As the yogurt is dangling from his spoon, I say “YOU BETTER NOT DR—” He had dropped the yogurt. “ON MY GOD! WHY DID YOU JUST DO THAT. DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR MOMMA TELLING YOU NOT TO DO THAT. LOOK, NOW MOMMA HAS TO CLEAN UP YOUR BIG MESS!” I was SO pissed!!
He just looks at me, and throws both of his hands over his eyes and says, “Where’d I go?” Like, I can’t see him anymore so he can’t be in trouble. It. was. hilarious.
I hate it when he is funny when I am trying to play mom. I have horrible laughter control.
SO, the short version of my morning so far–it’s 10AM and if the morning keeps going like this, then I’ll be needing a glass of wine by noon!